Annual Report
Annual Report 2026. Figures are the Bureau's own, and so are the conclusions.
- Hours of surveillance
- Classified
- Albums finished
- Also classified, but embarrassing
- Subjects monitored
- 1
- Subjects who noticed
- 1, repeatedly
- Reports filed by the public
- More than were read
- Tracks skipped
- Too many to count on one hand
- Jan 35
- Feb 40
- Mar 55
- Apr 30
- May 45
- Jun 60
- Jul 50
- Aug 65
- Sep 70
- Oct 85
- Nov 60
- Dec 95
A peak in December. The Bureau suspects holiday music, and enthusiasm.
- Begun 100
- Finished 7
The gap is called "the plan."
- "It's a short one" 45
- "I love this part" 30
- "It's already queued" 15
- No reason 10
None was accepted.
Findings
- Surveillance expanded in every quarter, in the sense that the Bureau kept listening.
- Morale at the Bureau remains high, in the sense that no one has asked about it.
- The Bureau's budget is classified. The Bureau suspects it is also zero.
All figures are invented. None of them is anyone's real listening.