Citizens are reminded that a shuffle button is a setting, not a personality.
Public Advisories
Notices for the listening public. Compliance is voluntary, and expected.
Anyone claiming a song "gets good at 2:40" must now say what it was doing until then.
The phrase "it's a grower" is no longer accepted as a defence.
Listening to an album "in the background" while giving it your full attention is a contradiction and must be declared as one.
Playlists exceeding six hours must be accompanied by a reason.
Saxophone solos exceeding nine minutes must be reported to a supervisor.
Citizens who rearrange their record shelves "just a bit" are advised to clear the afternoon.
Air drumming is permitted in private. In traffic, it is a matter for the traffic authorities, and for us.
Citizens are reminded that "deluxe edition" is not a personality.
Saying "you had to be there" about a live album does not exempt the album from review.
The word "underrated" may not be applied to anything with more than one million listeners.
Persons humming the bass line instead of the tune are asked to hum quietly, and to keep their reasons to themselves.
Fading out is an ending. Please stop asking whether the band meant it.
Anyone who has "heard it before it was big" must produce the paperwork.
Skipping to the last track to see how it ends is not listening. It is reading ahead, and we noticed.
Recommending an album with the words "just trust me" voids the trust.